This morning when I took Lexi into the nursery (which lasted a whole 5 mins) I knew it was a bad idea because she had been crying and fussing since she woke up. Why? Who knows! I have determined that she is just a fussy baby and likes to cry. She cries when she is crawling, eating, playing, being held, anything! Could this be due to GERD? certainly! teething? thats a great possibility! sinus/allergies? im thinking so but still, today was rough! So in nursery I gt called back to get her and I was in there talking to the ladies who were there saying how first time moms kids are too spoiled, and how all we do is hold them all day, and just pretty much bashing first time moms and stay at home moms. I was so frustrated! My child does get held alot yes because I love loving on her! Does she get held day in and day out? No! I have a house, myself, a husband and other things to take care of! she plays by herself at home, she was just in different surroundings she doesnt know with people we dont know. Yes it does have smething to do with that she hasnt been left with anyone but that is bc of family probs(long story). They then went on to say it would be easier on everyone if they would get put in nursery when they are a baby vs 7 mos old. Im sorry but im not putting my nb baby in the nursery to catch sickness and germs unless i have to! For real!
Anyways back to the moral of the story. Most days I feel terrible about myself and feel like Im such a bad mom because my baby is so difficult and so unhappy. Why? I blame myself for everything that happens to her- thrush, colic, GERD, boo-boos, everything. Some days I think she deserves better than me! I lose patience sometimes and get frustrated but one thing never changes. The LOVE i have for my daughter. It grows bigger and bigger everyday! She is my wrld, just difficult
4 comments:
Awww, Danielle thank you for being so honest in your post! Just know that you are so not alone in this difficult but rewarding journey of motherhood. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for loving on your sweet baby girl--that's our job as mamas! I commend you for bringing Lexi to the nursery at even seven months old. Emma is TEN months old and I have still yet to do that myself! In fact, I went to scope it out this morning in hopes that I'll work up the courage to bring her next week. :)
Children are a blessing from God and a joy to love on for sure, but they can also be challenging to figure out and cause us to worry more, cry more, and pray more than we ever have before. It all comes with the territory! You're a great mommy to little Lexi--that is clear to us all! :)
Oh no way would I leave Maggie in the nursery that young. Those toys are always sticky with other kids germs... no thanks! Thank you for your comment on my blog! It's nice knowing there are others out there that feel the same. :) Maggie is a fussy baby too, but today she gifted me with a (practically) fuss free day! I'd say the times are achangin' but I know better and tomorrow I'm sure she'll make up for it. ;)
is the nursery like day care? at first I thought you meant her nursery- like her room?
UM, IM a tiny bit germophobe and thats why I didnt want Anika going to a real daycare and I was so happy to find a VERY clean OCD lady that only has a couple kids and they are kids of affluent people in the area, so I dont stress so much about germs with her there. My friend's kid is sick like every week and he goes to a BIG daycare with lots of runny nose kids running around. AND, DONT blame yourself FOR ANYTYHING!!! YOu are doing a fantastic job. Did you ever think, maybe God gave you what you can handle- and you have natural parenting abilities, and God knew that you could be nurturing and caring to a baby who needed a little extra help and attention? I feel that way sometimes- I dont have a WHOLE lot of patience and sometimes I think that is why I was given an easy baby. It has nothing to do with what kind of MOM you are that Lexi is sick!
I know the feeling! hang in there!
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