So I am not so sure of this post, actually I am kind of scared, but I think I am just going to do it and maybe someone can relate. Hopefully no one thinks differently, but this is just the truth!
Worry is my major downfall and my biggest weakness. I am the worry wart, nervous nelly, whatever you would consider it, and as I have gotten older (married & baby) it has gotten worse and I feel it is beginning to take over my life. I am not sure what my deal is, but it is so scary!! I am ready to be over and past this stage in my life. So now I am going to fill you in, please don't hate me now, I am just being honest!!
So I have a huge huge huge ( I really can't say huge enough right here) paranoia of getting sick, mainly throwing up. It doesn't really make sense to me because as I have gotten older throwing up really isn't as bad as I remember it. I mean yeah it sucks, but you throw up and get over it. No big deal. Well apparently in my head it is a much bigger deal. Every year (mainly starting last year the worst, but it has been previous years as well) when flu season approaches I start to get nervous about getting the flu. Very nervous and paranoid about it. I literally just want to stock up on everything so I can coop us up in the house for the whole flu season, just in case! Now I think some of this might be due to Ryan being in contact all.the.time with general public, day in and day out, that makes me nervous. What if he carries some sickness home to Lexi and I? Also, I am a mommy, I don't get 'time off' or 'sick days' and it scares me if I was to get sick what would happen to Lexi? I wouldn't be able to get better quickly, I wouldn't be able to do anything for her, and What if she gets sick from me? As you can tell, I am very worried about this. But it isn't just about flu season, this is a daily thing. I make my self sick worrying! When I leave the house, I worry if I am going to get car sick. When we go places I worry if I am going to get sick while we aren't home. Going to the doctors office could give me a panic attack. The ER is a nightmare for me!! I am also a hypochondriac!! I am CONSTANTLY worrying about this. Can anyone relate to me? Or am I just a freak?? It has seriously gotten BAD BAD BAD. really beginning to affect my life and I want to stop it NOW! I have been praying alot about this lately, as i am starting to get worried. I think I am going to get some bible verses about worry and just pin them up around the house and as soon as I start to get worried to just immediately start praying.
If you have made it through this whole thing thanks so much for listening!! :)
Sunday, October 23, 2011
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4 comments:
I'll be praying for you Danielle! I think gathering Bible verses is a great idea, and just giving everything over to the Lord in prayer, like you've been doing. 1 Peter 5:7 is a good one when I feel overwhelmed. And remember, God has not given us a spirit of fear!
And for what it's worth, I know alot of people who have a fear of throwing up - I don't think it's uncommon, but I know you can overcome it!
I also know a lot of people that have the fear of throwing up. It's called Emetophobia. As for being a germ-a-phobe....I've gotten worse about it since Alex was born but I'm not thinking about it constantly. I do make sure not to touch anything after I wash my hands in the bathroom. I open the door and turn the light off before I throw the towel out. :) And straws at movie theaters give me the heebie jeebies. Definitely praying about it and finding bible verses to help you is a great idea. If it gets too bad though I think I would see someone about it. A therapist or something. For some people this is a real problem. It's just not healthy to go around worrying all the time like that. The worry could make you sick all by itself w/o germs. I'm not judging but I'm concerned for you ((hugs)). I hope you start to feel better about things.
I am a germ-a-phobe. I ALWAYS get the 1st apt. of the day when A has dr. visits. I like to be in there alone before the sickies come...and contaminate the place :) ER- MAKES me cringe. I actually used to have a real fear of dying. Before I was ever pregnant. I always thought I had some illness...I called it health anxiety. My heart would race, etc. I don’t know- I Just prayed, meditated, and exercised my body and mind...and somehow I got better. I still worry at times about getting sick, but not like I used to. AND, the thing is- I have never even been sick! I mean, sure I have had colds and I have had some stomach bugs, but nothing ever serious. I hope you find peace and can shake this worry. If not- maybe talk to a dr. ?
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