Why? Why? Why!!!

Why did this happen to us? Why does my little baby have to go through this? 

I am so concerned, frustrated, and broken hearted. If you are a follower you know my lil Lexi's situation with her GERD. Well it got so much better and she was so much happier and barely spitting up. Well I guess I just got too comfortable with the situation too fast. Please keep my lil cupcake in your prayers. Her GERD is so bad right now :/ she has been spitting up crazy bad for a week now and has been so irritable. Then last night her heart rate dropped, which hasn't happened in 3 weeks. I wouldn't be concerned if it wasn't so low but a baby's resting heart rate is around 120 bpm and Lexi's is dropping down to 80! thats crazy! babies can code at 60 bpm according to our home health nurse. As a mom, I am terrified, frustrated, and broken hearted. I also feel guilty. I know that is stupid but I feel like this is my fault. I try to do everything in my power to keep her happy and healthy but she isn't either of these right not and because of this I am broken hearted.

I am heart broken because they are wanting to re-do her ph probe. That was a terrible experience fr us all and I don't have the heart to do that to her again. She had to be sedated, I couldn't hold her all night long, it was excruciating! So now I am torn on what to do. I'm just everywhere. I can't even gather my thoughts. Please please please just keep her in your prayers. I don't even know what else to say except thank you in advance.

I know people have it so much worse than us, and I can't even imagine. I pray for anyone who goes through something terrible with their child. I am however thankful that this is all it is and it isn't anything majorly major. This can be fixed with surgery, I'm just upset! I guess all we can do is face it and pray!!